This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in
a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due
to her interest in health food, and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion
which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and
Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all
this was going to cost.
"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the
home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each
week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses
on earth. The old man asked, "what are the green fees?".
Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the
cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied
with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man
Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like
of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and
stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to
calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife
and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran
muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"