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MWLP/other's SAD diets

I have a question about the McDougall MWLP.  I have incorporated many of
his concepts into my diet and am now a vegetarian and eat only lf or ff
food.  I am uncertain as to what qualifies as low cal.  If I was at my
goal weight, I would need approx. 1700 calories total to maintain it
according to what I have found on the net and in a book that I have.  Is
that considered low cal for a day since it's less than I need now or
should I be eating less?  Also, when I look at his sample menus, they
seem REALLY low cal - which is okay - but is it healthy?  Will someone
be able to maintain the weight lost if you stop eating as his plan says
but still eat healthy and lf? 

Also, how do people handle going to eat at other people's homes.  I
don't do this often, but, especially with the holidays approaching, this
will come up more and more and I don't know how to handle it.  My
husbands family eats very SAD and gets very  "insulted" if you don't eat
what they prepare.  I'm sorry but it really upsets my stomach to have
much of any fat anymore.  I don't want to be rude to anyone but I don't
want to have to eat that way and I don't know how to not offend someone.
We are having a family get-together with his side at someone else's
home.  I am really stressed that there will be nothing I can eat.  I
plan to bring some salsa and baked low fat tortilla chips to share so
this should help.  It would be difficult to say I wasn't hungry since
everyone knows there will be food served.  It would also not look very
good if I only ate what I brought.   I tried to call and find out what
was on the menu by asking if they needed anything and prying a little,
but I haven't been able to get ahold of them.  HELP!