I'd like to put in my two cents to the discussion about getting what you
need/want in restaurants and at the houses of friends. First, I must say
that I don't have any medical condition that makes eating outside my diet
a major health risk. Some of you may have a greater incentive than my own
wish to live a healthier life.
I reduce the stress over eating properly by making the assumption that
when I cook, I have total control over what goes in the food. When I go
out to eat, I always assume that things are not going to go according to
plan no matter how hard I try. If they do, I'm overjoyed. If they don't,
I'm disappointed. But because I eat vlf the majority of the time, I
figure that I can afford a little extra fat in restaurant meals and at
I always try to order the healthiest thing I can, and ask them to
prepare it without extra oil, or put the sauce on the side, etc.
Sometimes I still get greasy food, and then I send it back for another
try if I have time. I'm not a very assertive person, so I have to weigh
how much of a hassle my system can handle in dealing with the situation.
At friend's houses, I always ask what they're planning to prepare, then
remind them I'm vegetarian. If they're not freaked out by that, they
usually ask if I eat milk or eggs, and I use this opportunity to break
the next bad news: I prefer not to eat cheese, eggs, or milk if at all
possible. At this point they're usually stunned by the whole situation
and wondering what in the world to do. I generally offer to bring
something to help out, or make the suggestion that if they could just
steam some veggies, I'll bring some brown rice and I'll be fine - really!
If you're the kind of person who is determined to get exactly what you
feel you deserve, the above situation probably won't work for you. I just
find that I'm happier if I don't set my expectations for other people too
high. In all areas of life, I expect a LOT more of myself than I do of
Julie in San Jose