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knife-edged putdowns


Not all of us have responded to the list, but have e-mailed the
originator directly.  I personally have found that, in restaurants,
speaking with the manager generally works.  No need to get irate, just
explain to him/her that you are on a very strict, very low fat diet and
have explained to the waiter/waitress that you wanted something to eat
that is vegetarian with no added fats or other oils such as pasta and
steamed vegetables (or other item depending on where you are).  If, by
chance, the manager is not receptive and you are at a chain restaurant,
send a letter to the home office.  I wrote one for a lady I work with
and they sent a letter of apology along with a certificate for dinner
for four (there had been four people in the original party).  I have
also found that, whether the situation is with friends or the waitstaff
at a restaurant, nasty comments and putdowns usually make the recipient
more likely to refuse to accommodate your request than a calm, peaceful
"negotiation".  Even at a friend's house, if there is nothing acceptable
for you to eat you can always try saying "I know this sounds weird, but
I have the most incredible craving for a salad with vinegar.  Do you
have any salad stuff?  I can put it together."  That way, the
host/hostess doesn't feel as though you are criticising their ability to
prepare good food (especially important with moms & grandmas).  Just a
suggestion, but these things have worked for me.